Rose
by tehedward
Summary: She loved all of her children, and she loved them all equally, but Rosalie held a special place in her heart.
1. Chapter 1

**Standard disclaimer, I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. This is a one shot it takes place after Bella has first met the rest of the Cullens but before the baseball game.**

**s**

**Rose**

**s**

"Rose, dear, may I come in?" Esme asks as she stands outside Rosalie's and Emmett's room. She keeps her voice low and quiet enough that she could have a private conversation with her daughter and best friend. Even in a house full of vampires, no one would be able to hear them. Rosalie had basically shut herself in her room all day now and she was beginning to get worried, she wouldn't even speak to Emmett right now so she hoped that maybe she would open up to her. Rosalie and she had, in her opinion, one of the more interesting and complex relationships in the family.

She loved all of her children, and she loved them all equally, but Rosalie held a special place in her heart. Rose was her eldest daughter and the past experiences that they both shared and the desires that they both had meant that they understood each other in a way that even their mates couldn't comprehend.

Carlisle was the love of her existence, what she felt for him was all encompassing, and he knew her better than anyone else in the world, and she knew that Rosalie felt the same way about Emmett. But neither of them had actually gone through the abuse, the rape that Rosalie and she had, they didn't have the sense of loss that she and Rosalie did over the fact that they could never have children. Their husbands could empathize, they could sympathize, but they couldn't comprehend. There was no way to understand that kind of pain, that kind of violation, that kind of loss, unless you experienced it.

But it wasn't just their pain that connected them either. While Rosalie was more blunt about it, more confrontational, nobody else worried about the family as a whole like she and Rosalie did. This family was everything to them and they wanted to do everything they could to protect it.

They also liked to go out and do things together. While Rosalie was more mechanically inclined her daughter was the one who often took an interest in what she, Esme, was doing. In every house she designed Rosalie was always there to help her pick things out, offer suggestions, or just provide her with some company. And she did the same, she honestly to this day, and despite Rosalie's best efforts, couldn't tell you the difference between a carburetor and a muffler, but she enjoyed sitting out in the garage with Rose and watching her as she worked on the cars. Rosalie had a gift with mechanics and she could do things with cars the same way Edward could do things with music. She was so passionate about it and it was great to watch. She wasn't much help, but Rosalie seemed to appreciate and enjoy the company.

They loved the same kinds of books, but couldn't agree on a movie to save their lives, and they loved to tease each other about it. Esme, while wanting to look nice didn't care for fashion the same way that Rosalie did, and certainly nowhere near the degree that Alice did. Rosalie had a bit of a darker and more biting sense of humor than she did, but she was also so much more outgoing than Esme ever was. She knew that it grated on Rosalie to be so reserved in the human world while Esme had always been a bit more of a homebody.

Rosalie was her daughter and her best friend and right now she was hurting, and she knew exactly what the cause of that hurt was. Bella Swan. Esme was so happy that Edward had finally found someone, he had been alone for so long that it was good to see him finally connect with someone. And she seemed like a… nice girl. She was a little twitchy, but she seemed sweet enough and it was obvious that she was smitten by her son. Esme was excited to get to know her.

Rosalie, however, was not. And she had brought up some very valid concerns. Edward was very adamant about not changing her, he wouldn't even discuss it, and that alone was a huge problem. One that could potentially get them all killed, but that wasn't Rose's only objection. The girl was still human, that meant her mere presence was painful for them to endure. Going to school was one thing, but if she was going to be coming over that would be a problem. This house was supposed to be their safe haven, a place for them to escape the temptation of human blood.

Edward had also divulged everything to the girl, all of their secrets were known to this new human. She wanted to support Edward and she was happy that he was finding love but even she hadn't been particularly thrilled with that bit of news. The girl seemed nice enough but they didn't know her. Carlisle and Emmett had been concerned as well and she had never seen Rosalie and Jasper that angry before. Alice had been able to calm Jasper down, barely, but it had taken the combined efforts of Emmett and herself to stop Rosalie from throwing Edward's piano at him.

Edward and Alice were both sure, completely positive, that they could trust Bella, that she was trustworthy which did provide some assurances. Alice swore up and down that she had no visions of Bella telling anyone anything, that Bella would keep their secret.

_"Unless she changes her mind, you're accurate, rarely ever wrong I'll admit. But we all know that you're not infallible, and that when you are wrong, you're really wrong."_ Rosalie had challenged. Alice hadn't appreciated that and now the two of them weren't speaking to each other. Rosalie was more confrontational about it than Esme would have been, but she did have a point. Alice was rarely wrong but the last time she had been, three humans had died.

As all of this is passing through Esme's mind, Rosalie still hadn't answered her yet so she tries calling out again. "Rosalie, please, may I come in?"

This time Esme doesn't wait for an answer she slowly opens the door and steps inside to see Rosalie standing by her window and staring out into the forest.

"I didn't say you could come in." She says, but there is no real bite in her voice, just quiet resignation.

"You also didn't tell me to go away." Esme replies with a smile as she moves to stand by Rosalie, and she can see a tiny smile pulling at Rosalie's lips.

It's silent between the two of them for a few minutes before Rosalie speaks up. "I don't want Edward to be alone, I do want him to find love. I want for him to have what Emmett and I have. I want for him to have what you and Carlisle, and Jasper and Alice all have. I do want that for him."

"I know that dear and so does everyone else."

"But he's doing this wrong, he's putting us all at risk and her as well. I know my brother, he's going to try and hide the darker side of what we are from her. Oh he'll tease her with it to be sure, I'm a monster, you shouldn't trust me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But he won't actually tell her what it means to be what we are, he won't show her the truth. She's going to think that this kind of existence is a blessing, something to aspire to." Rosalie shakes her head in disgust.

"She deserves the chance to have a normal, mortal, life and with all things considered and if Edward gets his way, I don't see how this can end in anything but heart break. Edward won't change her, and eventually she'll grow old and she'll die and with what to show for it? So that she and Edward can spend the last few years of her life pretending he's her grandson, and what do you suppose is going to happen to Edward after she's gone? He may be a pretentious ass-hole-"

"Language." Esme reprimands, but there's no real force behind it.

Rosalie's features soften, and she feel's guilty for swearing in front of Esme. Esme had been raised to not swear and so she had always been sensitive to it. Charles, her ex-husband had loved to curse up a storm in front of her just to see her flinch, so they all tried to avoid doing it for her sake. Sometimes they slipped but Esme appreciated the effort.

"Right sorry, but you know what I mean, he's moody, he's judgmental, he drives me up the wall and there are days, weeks even, when I can't stand to be within a hundred miles of him and I know he feels the same way about me, but still… he's my brother and I may not always like him, but I do love him. If this girl is it for him, and I'm not convinced she is, but if she is, and he never plans to change her, what do you think he's going to do once she's gone?"

Esme looks down, because she knows exactly what Rosalie is talking about. Edward was dramatic, more so than anyone else in the family, and he often had a… twisted wasn't the word she wanted to use but it was close at times, view of life, love, and religion. She loved him like he was her son but she wasn't blind to his flaws. She knew that if this Bella girl was it for him, and she were to die, Edward would soon follow and a part of her wondered if he didn't ultimately hope for that outcome.

Edward despised what they were and made no secret of the fact that he believed they had no souls, that they were all eternally damned to hell. Esme didn't believe that, not for a single second, she believed that it was their actions that they would be judged by, the fact that they fought against their natures was what would count in the end, if and when that time came. A part of Edward wished for death, to face that final judgment, but another part of him craved life, wished to be proven wrong, but if that Bella girl was it, was who he was going to give his heart to and she were to die, she knew that any will to live would leave Edward.

"I just want to protect this family… it's all I have." Rosalie finishes softly.

Esme reaches over and places her hand on Rosalie's, squeezing it affectionately. "I have to believe that it will all work out, that this girl will love him and help him work through these issues that he has. That he has finally found his soul mate. I know what's at stake here and believe me I share all of your concerns but… he needs us to support him, now more than ever. We don't know what the future will hold, we have a good guess, but we don't know. I want him to be happy, I want all of you to be happy, and since he has decided to be with this Swan girl I've seen a spark of life in him that I have never seen before. It gives me hope that everything will work out in the end. I think for the first time he has a shot at happiness and I think this will change him and for the better, we just have to have faith, and we need to support him, now more than ever."

Rosalie lets out a sigh. "I can't support this, I know you can see a happy ending in this but all I can see is devastation. This human girl is going to destroy our family-"

"Rose-"

"Please Esme, let me finish. I can't support what I believe is going to be the end of my brother. I don't see how he can possibly love her, I think he's intrigued by her, he can't hear her thoughts and she's his singer, I think he finds it interesting but I don't think its love. I also think that this is all going to end really badly for all of us, but… you're right Edward does need our support. So…"

Rosalie lets out another sigh, "I guess the best I can do in this situation is back off, I won't fight him on this, but… I can't support it. I'm not convinced it's real and I think it's just going to end badly for him."

Esme moves her hand and wraps it around Rosalie's shoulder and brings her in for a hug, and Rosalie allows it happen and she rests her head on Esme's shoulder.

"I hope I'm wrong." Rosalie says softly after a moment.

"Me too." Esme says, kissing Rosalie on the forehead.

After a couple minutes of silence pass Rosalie speaks up again, this time in a wistful, kind of hopeful but teasing voice. "Why couldn't he have fallen for Tanya? Tanya's a sweetheart, she's beautiful, smart, fun, she's strong willed, she could keep Edward in line-"

Esme chuckles at that, she liked Tanya as well and had been rather hopeful when the woman had first shown an interest in Edward.

"Plus if he got together with her then he could live up in Denali and we wouldn't have to put up with him as much." Rosalie finishes.

"Rosalie." She reprimands.

"What? We'd visit… occasionally."

Esme just arches a brow and looks at her.

"Fine… your right, I'm sorry… plus I like Tanya, I wouldn't really wish that on her."

Esme rolls her eyes before she begins to move, taking Rosalie's arm in her own and leading them out of the blonde's room. "Come on, your eyes are looking dark and you're just a little too snarky right now, I think you need to feed. Let's go see if Emmett and Carlisle are up for a hunt."

**S**

** So I have this head canon that Rosalie and Esme are really close. They just really connected over the years and next to Emmett, Esme is Rosalie's strongest connection to the Cullen family and vice versa and that their relationship is similar to Carlisle's and Edward's. I don't know, I just like the idea that they're really close. I have nothing to back these thoughts up with, I've only seen each movie once, and I've only read the books once, and I don't recall there being anything in them to suggest that this is right… or wrong, mind you. The books and movies are all about Bella and Edward, which is fine, if not a little boring to me. I love Twilight fics that explore the rest of the Cullen's with Rosalie being my favorite character and so I thought I would do a little one shot. And I'll readily admit that most of my Twilight knowledge comes from fan fiction, so I have no idea how close to canon either of these characters are here, if at all. Although if I cared about canon I wouldn't be on this site lol.**


	2. Jealousy

** Standard Disclaimer, I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

**Chapter 2: Jealousy**

**s**

Esme was standing out on the front porch leaning over the railing and staring out into the woods. They were finally about to leave Forks and in her opinion they couldn't get out of here fast enough. Too much had a happened here and she just needed a fresh start.

She was so out of it that she hadn't even noticed Rosalie sliding up next to her until the blond vampire had taken one of her hands in her own. Esme looks up slightly surprised but then gives her a warm smile. The only person more excited to leave Forks than her was Rosalie.

They stay like that for a while, just enjoying the silence and each other's company before Rosalie speaks. Both of them staring out into the woods.

"It's okay that you're angry, I know I am."

Esme shakes her head, she should have known that her Rose would have seen through her. It was easier to hide since Bella almost always had her shield up for Edward now, but she guessed that something must have slipped through and caught Rosalie's attention.

"I'm not angry."

"You can repeat it to yourself and to whomever you want to over and over again, but I know you so much better than that. You're angry and I'm here to tell you that it's okay."

Esme shakes her head. "No, it's not. He is my son, she is now my daughter and I should feel nothing but joy for the both of them."

"Why?"

Esme shakes her head again. "Because that is what I do, I am the mother in this family, the compassionate one, I have to be happy for everyone. I don't get to be angry or jealous."

"True, you are those things, but first and foremost to me, you are my best friend. The one person in this family that I can talk to about anything, and I know I'm yours. You can tell me because I'll tell you. I am, I am so angry and I am so jealous. Don't get me wrong, I love Nessie, but the fact is that while she is a gorgeous child and I love her, she will never be mine and she will never be yours, and Bella who never wanted it got our happy ending. She gets eternity with her true love, she gets to keep her human family, and she has the child that you and I never will. I've come to care for her and I am happy for her, it doesn't change the fact that I had to sit back and watch someone else get my dream."

"It's not fair…" Esme whispers softly. "I… only got to hold my baby for… for… it felt like a second and then he was gone… and I can never… I'll never be a mother again, I'll never have that feeling of holding a little child close to me and knowing that it's mine, my baby."

"You've made due with us, but it's not the same is it? I mean I've dreamed about motherhood for as long as I can remember. I've only ever wanted a little baby to hold and call my own and to grow old with the man I love and watch our child grow. I can dream all I want but I'll never experience that… but you, you had it. It was for only a second, but you still had it and then it was ripped from you.

I've never envied you that. I can only dream of what it's like, but you've actually experienced it and you will never know it again… I can only imagine how much harder all this is for you. To see someone who didn't even want it, get the dream that you and I crave with our entire beings."

"I should be happy for her…" Esme wishes that she could cry. "I should be thrilled, and I am… but…"

"You don't have to say it if you don't want to, I just don't want you to think that you can't or that you are alone."

The two women finally turn to look at each other, "I can't say it." Esme says, a quiet desperation in her voice. "If I do I won't ever be able to hold it back. I look at them and…" God how she wished she could cry.

"You look at them and it's a knife to the heart. The pain is worse that even the transformation, and you are so jealous of them. And you hate yourself for it too, you feel sick inside, because you do love and care about them, you want them to have a happy ending. But you feel how you feel and you feel cheated, like God is showing you what you will never have. And every time you look at her you feel like the universe is rubbing it in your face that somehow someone else beat the odds or destiny or fate or whatever and you didn't. Like what did she do to be so blessed and not me?" Rosalie says all this softly and gently, giving voice to Esme's own deepest and darkest feelings. Rosalie pulls her into a hug and Esme doesn't fight it and she lets herself get lost in the other girl's arms.

"It's not fair." She whimpers.

"No… it's not."

**s**

**So I might actually turn this into a series of one shots, I'm not quite certain yet. If I do they will all be interconnected and in no particular order. I do it with another story of mine and it's done fairly well so we'll see. The problem with that format is that unless inspiration hits, updates are few and far between. If I do it I would try to cover all of the Cullen's but it would definitely be a very Rosalie and then Esme heavy centric story. Like I said I'm undecided right now. But I do hope you all enjoyed this little chapter no matter what I decide to do.**


	3. Mortality

** Timeline wise, I'm not sure when this chapter takes place, it's sometime just after Alice and Jasper have joined the Cullen's and obviously before the book Twilight, also I could not for the life of me discover one of the character's mentioned name so I had to make one up. I apologize, if one of you does know the name then let me know and I'll edit it in, thanks. Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters.**

**s**

**Mortality**

**s**

"I really don't want to talk right now, leave." Rosalie snarls as Esme hesitantly enters into her and Emmett's room, which like the rest of the house had been torn apart.

"I am so sorry."

"I said leave!" She yells, her eyes flashing with rage and anguish. "I don't even want to look at you, any of you! I hate you, GET OUT!"

However Esme doesn't take it personally and instead she steps forward and wraps the other girl in a hug. "I am so very sorry." She whispers softly, she can feel Rosalie tense in her arms, but she doesn't pull away or attack, so Esme takes it that she's on the right track.

"It's not fair!" Rosalie rages. "I hate it, I hate this stupid existence, and everyone it! And I hate Carlisle for condemning me to this! Why didn't he just let me die!? I hate him… I hate him…" Rosalie trails off her shoulders sagging in defeat as she rests her forehead on Esme's shoulder, wishing for tears that would never come, the anger and despair festering inside her like a hurricane of miasma.

Esme runs her fingers through the younger woman's hair, gently stroking her and offering her condolences. Rosalie had just learned that one of her brother's had died in a drunken accident. Worse for Rosalie though was that she would not even be able to attend the funeral because she would be recognized.

Initially she was going to go, she didn't care, her baby brother was dead and she was going to go to him, but the family had to step in and remind her what was at risk. Her parents, her other brother, people who had known her all those years ago, they would all be there and they would all know instantly who she was and then they would all be exposed, risking not only their lives but the lives of the humans as well. The Volturi wouldn't tolerate any breech of the secret and if they found out they would kill all involved just to be safe.

The rage that had taken over Rosalie at that point was unlike anything they had ever experienced before, she hadn't hurt them, she had had enough presence of mind to not attack them, but she had taken her rage out on everything else, literally destroyed their house to the point where they were going to have to move. Furniture, walls, the floor, she had been destruction incarnate as the crushing reminder of the state of her existence and all that she had lost came crumbling down on her.

"My brother is dead…" Rosalie whispers, "He's dead and I can't go to him, I can't see him, or say goodbye, nothing…"

Esme clenches her eyes shut and just holds Rosalie a little bit tighter not saying anything, because honestly, what could she say? What could she possibly say to make it alright for her? All of the condolences in the world, all of the useless platitudes and expressions meant absolutely nothing when faced with the harsh reality of the situation. Rosalie was immortal and unchanging and her family wasn't and the death of her brother was but the first of many she would have to endure as time passed them by.

"My mother, my father, they now think they've lost two children, ha…" Rosalie scoffs humorlessly, "They have lost two children, only one of them died and the other abandoned them for a fate worse than hell… and Robert, little Robby has now lost both his big sister and now his big brother… I should be there for him… he needs me… I have to go."

Esme pulls back just enough so that she can look Rosalie in the eyes, "You can't sweetheart, I know you want to and I would give anything for you to be able to go, but you can't." She says as gently as she can, hoping that it will lessen the blow and knowing that it won't.

"Please Esme, please… please let me go, please… I'll be careful, I won't be seen, I promise."

"You can't. I wish you could sweetheart but you can't." Esme could feel her heart breaking at the look of despair and hopelessness that settled onto Rosalie's face. Esme had been her last hope and for the sake of their lives she had to say no.

"Can I be alone now, please?" Rosalie asks meekly and all Esme can do is nod her head. She places her lips to Rosalie's forehead and then turns to leave. As she reaches the door she turns and looks at Rosalie one last time, wanting to say something, anything to help ease the pain, but nothing comes to her. As she shuts the door behind her the last thing she sees is Rosalie standing there, having not moved a muscle, staring forlornly into nothing.

Esme lets out a sigh as she heads downstairs and into the living room, hating the helplessness that she feels right now, wanting to make things better, but knowing nothing could heal this wound of Rosalie's except for time. But that was part of the problem, they had nothing but time. She looks to Carlisle, Edward, and Alice who had all had to play the bad guys in telling Rosalie she couldn't go to the funeral. They had all obviously heard the conversation and each of them looked wracked with guilt.

"I'm sorry, but it wouldn't have ended well." Alice says softly, this was the first time one of her visions had had an adverse effect on someone and so she was feeling a little lost. Unfortunately, no matter how many scenarios she ran, someone always recognized her.

"It's not your fault dear."

"If we could let her go… if we could let her go safely we would." Carlisle says, he looks stricken and Esme goes over to him to try and provide some comfort.

"How is she Edward?" Esme asks, she normally wouldn't pry but she was scared for her daughter and best friend right now.

Edward sighs, "She's reliving memories right now, some good, most of them… Alice, when will Emmett and Jasper get back?"

"Ten minutes, Emmett will be able to reach her." Alice says sadly, wishing she could do more.

"We should probably get started, we'll have to leave here pretty quickly." Carlisle says softly, motioning to the mess that used to be their living room.


End file.
